


I have been here before

by Florence68



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 23:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florence68/pseuds/Florence68
Summary: The only path I shouldn’t be taking is memory lane. However, it is impossible to avoid that on the day of the celebration of our ten-year high school graduation anniversary...My story for MoreS2SL 2018, a charity which raised money for childhood cancer.For more information please visit mS2SL Website (https://ms2sl.com/#!/news) or Blog (https://mores2sl.tumblr.com/)!





	I have been here before

As soon as I open the door that divides the kitchen from the salesroom of the bakery a wave of cold air hits my face. In comparison with the inferno next to the oven, the temperature in the store appears rather refreshing. Leaned against the door, I feel a slight chill. The unbearable heat has wiped out the town square. My glance wanders off to the gazebo. It seems as if, sitting on a pavilion bench, I can see… I draw back, closing the door behind me. With a hand on the doorknob, I hesitate for a few moments in the darkness of the narrow hallway, long enough to hear the voice that has been haunting me for years…

\- Good day, Mr. Mellark!

\- Oh, honey, I haven’t seen you in ages. A beauty still! You must have come to the anniversary party?

\- Yes. Let me introduce you to my husband…

Back entrances are a true blessing. The deserted street leads to the woods. A walk will do me some good. I just have to reach the woods. Yes, breathing… Breathe in… Breathe out… Repeat… How could I even think that everything would work out smoothly? Why did I accept the invitation? A feeling of obligation towards Delly? After everything that has happened, I didn’t have the right to let her show up alone at the anniversary party. Except for that one moment of insanity that has ruined all of our dreams, the two of us are sandbox friends after all. We need each other. The real question here is why we have to go at all. She thinks it’s a good opportunity to finally close that chapter of our lives. Maybe to find peace. And move on… The problem is that I still can’t accept such an ending…

 

xxx

 

\- Are you giggling?

\- Delly, I swear, if you tell anyone, I will…

\- What will you do if I tell anyone that you’ve been giggling like a girl for days because you are going to the graduation party with Katniss?

I couldn’t stop the blushing or the giggling but I could turn the attention away from me…

\- Alright, but what about you?

\- Nothing. I’m always giggling.

\- Louder these days. And without a break. Is there anything you want to tell me?

\- No. Yes. Hm. Maybe…

\- Dell!

\- Ok, ok… Thom has invited me to the graduation party.

\- Hahaha. How come he invited you to our graduation party? Isn’t he in college with “Mr. Tall, Intimidating and Broody”?

\- Stop it! Yes, he invited me. I mean, he asked me if I would take him out to our graduation party. Ouf.

\- Ok, Dell! That makes sense. But it doesn’t explain your dramatic increase in giggles.

\- Stop teasing me. You know very well that he is my Katniss.

And there we go. I couldn’t control a smile. Today was that day. The first day of the rest of my life. The perfect beginning. She was mine, finally, forever. We were going to go to college together, far away from this sleepy town and my mother, who couldn’t harm me anymore. There was no reason not to dedicate my life to art and pick the major I loved, one that I would enjoy and that would let me have a successful art career. I wanted to hug the entire world.

 

And here we are. Ten years later… A successful career in art – we are millennials, enough said. My mother had stayed in the sleepy town but I have taken her heritage with me, unaware of it. And she? She was mine. I had her… She still has me… I want to hide from the entire world.

 

xxx

 

A swarm of sounds, the splashing of water, the rustling of leaves under my shoes, some children’s laughter slowly starts to break through to my consciousness. I wasn’t even aware that I had wandered far into the woods. I stop abruptly and return to reality at once when I hear a voice that I would recognize anywhere. The voice of a five-year-old girl. Peeking through the last row of trees and bushes that frame the lake, I see a bunch of children having fun paddling around in the shallows. Two black braids are flying all over the place while the unstoppable flood of words causes a rippling laughter in the young woman.

 

\- Aunt Jo, he says I can’t do the front crawl. Because I am a girl. Can I hit him?

\- No, you may not hit him. But you can tell him that your mom taught his dad to do the crawl. And he’s still really bad at it.

\- Really? Did you hear? Aunt Jo says my mom taught uncle Gale to do the front crawl.

\- Aunt Jo doesn’t know anything. You shouldn’t listen to her.

 

The discussion was interrupted by a slap in the face and the little boy’s howl.

\- Hey, I told you not to hit Hunter!

\- Yes, but he said that you don’t know anything and that I shouldn’t listen to you. So I decided it pays to listen to Hunter…

 

Jo agrees, unable to control her laughter:

\- Well, if that’s true, I mean, if Hunter says so…

 

On her towel, Jo is surrounded by different little heads, red-haired, black-haired… The only ones that are missing are the blond ones whose absence is a sign of unfulfilled dreams… Mine…

 

There, on that same shore, maybe on that same towel, over more than two decades ago, a five-year-old was singing a lullaby to a blond chubby baby in a soft voice. I didn’t even dare to breathe behind that bush feeling how that little fairy, the same one that my grandma had read to me about in a children’s book, slowly was casting a spell on me…

The next few years, or so it seemed to me, I have spent hiding behind walls, bushes, friends, secretly watching the magic braids. I was very skilled and careful, no one noticed anything. I had to stay covered. I felt a bit uncomfortable, being a twelve-year-old, peeking. At whom? Gee, a girl. Huh. I wasn’t able to explain to anyone that I was doing it because she reminded me of a fairy tale character. Everyone would have laughed at me. I was not a baby…

The evenings at the lake were the most beautiful. Not only was the water indescribably calm, but the orange sky was descending onto the lake coloring it enchantingly. And in just that moment I saw a little boat, on which, holding two wooden paddles, the girl with the braids was bathing in rays of descending sunlight… I stepped out of the shadow and found out a few things – it turned out I wasn’t as unnoticeable as I had thought (“I thought you’d never step out of the shadow. I never wanted to say anything, so I wouldn’t scare you and drive you away.”) and I didn’t observe her from afar because of my childhood memory of the fairy from the book (“What, little bro finally braced up!? Nice, now you have a girlfriend too. What? Dad, why shouldn’t I tease him? You see, he’s not even complaining, he’s enjoying it…”). And I did enjoy fantasizing about that for the next six years, barely gathering the courage to ask her out on a first date (“Of course,” she accepted and added with a smile, “I thought you’d never step out of the shadow…”).

For the next few years, everything was tinted in the colors of the sunset. When, in a moment of doubt and satiation, not thinking, I took a brush and applied a few strokes of obtrusive neon colors, it was obvious that I would be returned to the shadow…

 

xxx

 

With slow steps, almost unnoticeably dragging my leg, I head to my room above the bakery. It is time to get ready for this evening’s party. To leave the shadow…


End file.
